Let's stop comparison culture.

A blog post to myself...

Let's be real, comparison culture is real and is HUGE at the moment with the rise of social media and the ability to instantly compare ourselves at the drop of a hat.

I have always been one to compare myself, in any and all aspects of my life. From what I am wearing, how I look, what I eat, where I am in my life, what job or university degree I am doing. But this year, following on from my last post, one of my biggest goals for 2023 is to stop comparing myself to others. I have started (emphasis on started) reading a beautiful book called 'You are Enough' by Cassie Mendoza-Jones, I have never been a big reader and it is something I really struggle to do, but the messages and contexts and help this book provides is next level. From this book, I have started to implement strategies into my own life. With comparison being my biggest take away so far.

Getting caught up in comparison culture is easy with the access and growth of social media, from Instagram to TikTok, Facebook to Snapchat, the ability to compare is everywhere. Comparison leads to a lack of self-confidence and self-worth, limits our own creative flow as we try to fit in and change our own path to align with other people's path, it keeps us stagnant in our own path and it takes so much energy!

We all have our own goals, our own plans, needs and wants in our life, we have our own path. Comparing ourselves to others whether they are in similar jobs/careers, university degrees or are the same age as us, is not healthy or useful to us and our energy. You never know what is going on in someone else's life, how they got to where they are or if you are comparing yourself to someone with years and years more experience.

I for one compare my career progression and university degree choices to others ALL the time. I look at others on Instagram in the health, fitness and Exercise Science realm, with instant comparison, but never take into account that some of these professionals have been in the industry for 10, 20, 30 years longer than myself, of course they know more, have better access to knowledge and facilities and have a bigger following, client base and growth than me, I am not even 2 years into my career.

Of course, you can look up to others, take components of their content or knowledge or how they present themselves, away with you and use that to learn and grow, it becomes toxic when it's all you think about, you lower your own self-worth and believe because what you have isn't the same as them then you aren't worthy.

An awesome tool I have found in 'You are Enough', is called FLOW.

1. follow your own path

2. let go of your perceptions

3. open up to new attitudes and patterns

4. work with what you have

Whenever I start to doubt myself or compare myself to others, I think back to this acronym. What is my path? Why am I on this path and does it make me happy? Then I let go of perceptions I hold of others or I believe they may hold of me. Following on from that, setting new patterns and routines, to reach the goals I have not what I think I should be doing, what I know I can and should be doing. And lastly, understanding I have my own strengths, my own knowledge, and working with that to pull myself out that deep comparison to others.

Why and Who are we comparing ourselves too?

• comparing yourself to your 'perfect' self

• comparing yourself to your ideal/long term potential

• comparing yourself to a past version of yourself

• comparing to others and their potential, whether its friends, family, collogues or people on social media

• comparing to people way, way ahead of you in terms of life experience and growth

So often we compare ourselves to others because we don't feel accomplished enough, without taking into account all YOU have accomplished, you just brush that under the rug. Start trying to give yourself a confidence boost in moments of comparison, what have you done? what have you gone through? how much growth have you done personally? PUMP YOURSELF UP!!!

We are all on our own path, it may take longer, it may look different, but it is yours and you can't forget to enjoy the journey and not just hold such a huge emphasis on the destination, it could take years to get there, and why waste this journey and time in between, lets allow ourselves time to grow, to develop and to enjoy life however the path unfolds (advice I am still implementing and learning in my own life too!!).

References

C.Mendoza-Jones. 2020. You are Enough.